My cats are trolls. They totally troll my neighbors cats, smug in the knowledge that they are safe. So I’m sitting here, watching a movie, as one does when they have insomnia, and my cats have taken up their usual station by the screen door. All three of their furry little butts are collected there, and after a while I start hearing that throaty, guttural, pissed-off-cat noise coming from the other side of the door.

What do my fluffy striped and spotted angels do? Nothing. They just sit there, perfectly calm, as the neighbors cat gets increasingly tetchy to the point it actually starts hissing and spitting. That’s when dog wakes up. Now given the whole “fight like cats and dogs” cliche you probably would expect all holy hell to ensue, but that’s not what happens. What happens is my dog trots her way over to the cats, plants her feet firmly between their bodies, book-ending her favorite with both front legs, and lets off a single woof.

End result: neighbors cats shoots off into the bushes (and probably into a waiting coyotes mouth), and my three are still sitting in the doorway, looking incredibly smug. Neighbors cat thoroughly trolled. Apparently nothing trumps having a 60Lb dog on your team.

I swear my pets are worth the trouble and expense just for the lulz.